"Little monsters?" I asked.
It was our codeword for the days where nothing went right, nothing felt right, and it felt like there was nothing we do to change any of it.
I didn't really need to ask her though. The look on her pale face as she stood on my doorstep, the way she pulled her hands into her hoodie - wait, no, my hoodie - and her quiet told me everything.
She nodded her head with all the weight of the world and forced an apologetic smile. "I'm worried about my brother, I think my boss got upset and none of us could figure out why, and they didn't have any mini cakes at the store."
"That is a travesty." But I knew exactly what to do. "Well, lucky for you," I said, stepping out of the doorway and gesturing for her come in, "you're entering a realm that is totally and completely protected from monsters."
Her smile grew into something genuine. though small, still unsure of whether it was allowed to exist. But behind it, I could see my friend, trapped behind those dastardly brain monsters.
"How, good sir, is this realm protected?" she asked in a voice much smaller and much more unsure of itself than usual.
"Allow me to show you, fair lady!" I walked her into the kitchen of my small apartment to her usual seat on a stool at my breakfast bar. "Come into my humble shack an sit yourself by the fire. Or, you know, this drafty window."
"A fine dwelling," she encouraged. Even on her worst days, we gave me more of herself than she needed to. "Thank you, sir."
I guess I paused there. She looked so much like she belonged there. In my apartment. In the place I cherished most, my kitchen. With me. But I might have paused too long.
"I'm sorry," she said, her face filling with uncertainty. "I know it was last minute and I didn't really ask as much as I just showed up, but-"
"What? Oh, no," I took a step forward, thought about moving to her, holding her hand, hugging her, and then thought better. "Olive, are you kidding? I'm glad you came."
"I hope I'm not interrupting your weekend plans."
"Well, I was going to bake my weight in croquembouche and assemble the Eiffel Tower today, but you know."
"If you keep joking about that, you will actually do it someday."
"I can't. I won't have anything to joke about then."
It was enough to get a real smile from her. Then she gave a big sigh, folded her arms on the countertop in front of her, and laid her chin on them. She tried to keep her smile, but I could see the sadness creeping back in.
Maybe not-so-little monsters today.
I stepped up the counter and leaned forward and repeated: "I'm glad you came over." Because we need to hear these things over and over on monster days.
Again, I wanted to reach out and take her hand in mine. But before I could decide if I had the courage, she said, "So tell me more about this protected realm and it's restorative properties."
"Well," I said standing up and clapping my hands together. "First things first, we make the magic potion."
I was probably floating around the kitchen that afternoon. Olive coming over back then was the highlight of my week. She had admitted to me that she felt like a burden on those days, but she came over on my bad days too. And she could turn the world upside down with her humor, her insight, her kindness. No matter what happened, I would always be grateful for Olive. She was an expert in exterminating my monsters. And I was an expert in exterminating her monsters. Or if I wasn't, she was the best liar I had ever met.
"A magic potion," Olive echoed I her stress brimmed, half asleep voice. "Do tell."
"Of course!" I assumed a short of hunched witch character with a hoarse voice that I could almost keep up, and hobbled my way around the kitchen. "First, I must prepare my cauldron." I hit the switch on the electric kettle with an elaborate flair. "And while the cauldron awakes, I shall prepare my special ingredients. Let's see here, let's see. Just let me rummage through this ye old pantry here. Yes, here it is!"
I pulled out the hot chocolate mix and held it above my head like I had found the holy grail.
Olive did her best fake gasp. "From a box, Hudson? You never!"
I broke character for a second, because really I would have rather made it myself. "Well, if I knew you were coming, I would gotten out the double boiler, the heavy cream, the cocoa - but this seems like a pretty serious case that needs to be addressed quickly."
She smiled. I snapped back into character.
"This box holds potent magical power. Cow's milk transmogrified from a nutritious liquid into solid form, then crush into a fine powder. The seed of an exotic plant first roasted and ground into liquid, then separated from it's components and dried and, also, crushed into a powder.
"That's how they make cocoa powder?"
"Well, it's a very simplified description." I decided to bore her with the actual process details later. "And, most importantly, sugar ... um ... to ... help the medicine go down?"
"Are you a Sanderson sister or Mary Poppins?" she asked in a burst of laughter.
"You try making up a character on the spot."
Except, she does make up characters on the spot. All the time, actually. And they're usually on theme.
"It looks like you cauldron is awake, Mary Poppins."
I tried to take this cue and did my best Mary Poppins impression on my way back to the kettle. I stood up as straight as I could, chin held high, heels clicked together. Maybe Mary Poppins was so graceful because she wasn't a 6'1" gangly 20 something. I tripped over my own feet before I reached the counter, flailed around, and crumpled in on myself on the floor. Which, to my credit, resulted in a contagious outburst of laughter.
She was still laughing even as I was picking myself up off the floor. I leaned against the counter again, and she leaned in too. Eventually, her laugh calmed down, she caught her breath, and her eyes focused on me.
"How do you always know how to make me feel better?"
This was not the first time she'd said something to this effect. And every time, I would brush it off or make a joke. It was this moment - this infinitesimally tiny moment that felt like millennia as I weighed my options and pros and cons - that I decided to lean in.
"Because I know you." As soon as those words out, I wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull them back in. My heart hammered for another tiny millennia as I waited for her response.
Her eyes flitted down and I started to push myself away from the counter. But then she said:
"I know. I know you, too, Hudson."
My heart hammered faster, but a lightness filled my whole body. Feeling like my bones were made of lead and that our futures hung in the balance of this moment, I reached out for her hand. And to my astonishment, she gave it to me.
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